Thursday, June 14, 2007

Pulpit Pimps

I rolled up on this site the other night, and I like to have swerved off the road from laughing so hard; this was only my initial reaction mind you. This cat is writing a blog called Pulpit Pimps, at this point it might be argued that I am online too much if I am rolling up on spots like this. In any case, even though I have posted links to the site I am not necessarily endorsing it. In my opinion, most of his post are not particularly enlightening and do little to add to the already growing numbers of skeptics and discontents calling into question the integrity of many of the purveyors of postmodern televangelism. So you don't especially have to go there, here is what I found to be the most humorous example of the postings in his blog. Beware it is over the top (thats what makes it so funny), but once you get beyond the humor you must grapple with this age old issue even Jesus pointed to, see Matt. 7.15 and John 10.1-18.

You Might Be Gettin’ Pimped!

While they aren’t fool proof, there are certain indicators that can indicate whether or not you are being pimped. With a tip of the hat to Jeff Foxworthy, always remember:
  1. If you are waiting at the bus stop on Sunday morning and your pastor drives by blasting “Money Comin’” in his Rolls-Royce Phantom . . . you might be gettin’ pimped!
  2. If it’s easier to get in to see the President of the United States than it is to see your pastor…you might be gettin’ pimped!
  3. If the pastor’s armor bearers have better weapons and communications equipment than the Secret Service…you might be gettin’ pimped!
  4. If your pastor is on a first name basis with more celebrities than he is with people in the congregation…you might be gettin’ pimped!
  5. If your pastor spends more in restaurants than you spend for groceries for your family of four…you might be gettin’ pimped!
  6. If your pastor’s garage has more floor space and is better heated than your apartment…you might be gettin’ pimped!
  7. If your pastor’s house can be seen from space with the naked eye…you might be gettin’ pimped!
  8. If you pastor owns more property than Donald Trump…you might be gettin’ pimped!
  9. If your pastor’s “ministry” has him constantly shuttling between Atlantic City, Las Vegas, and Lake Tahoe in the “ministry’s” business jet…you might be gettin’ pimped!
  10. If your pastor’s address book reads more like the “Who’s Who” of the local political party…you might be gettin’ pimped!
  11. If one of your pastor’s cars cost more than your house…you might be gettin’ pimped!
  12. If your pastor owns more cars than there are days of the week…you might be gettin’ pimped!
  13. If one of your pastor’s suits costs more than the total your family spends on clothing for the year…you might be gettin’ pimped!
  14. If your pastor has given his children cars that you have only dreamed of…you might be gettin’ pimped!
  15. If your love offering equals your car note and your breakthrough still hasn’t come . . . you might be gettin’ pimped!
  16. If you suddenly get the feeling that you’ve heard your bishop’s sermon preached somewhere else before . . . you might be gettin’ pimped!
  17. And finally, if your pastor’s love offering is larger than the gross national product of the average third world country…you might be gettin’ pimped
Ha ha, he he very funny but this post should raise a serious question in the mind of every church member (though may be not in such explicit terms): "Is my pastor pimpin', or preachin'". As a pastor I struggle as I am preparing every sermon with the fundamental questions: Lord, am I telling people what you want them to hear or what they want to hear? Is this message relevant or just contemporary?